It’s been a while since I have put my thoughts about fitness and wellbeing down for others in my community to read, in part because I’ve not been running (heck what’s new), but in part, because I’ve been working extensively on my own messy body shit…and in years past, tracking this via my blog has sometimes led to sabotage and being overconfident in continued progress.
So I’ve instead just quietly been doing the work.
For the past year I have been on an incredible journey to reconnect with my body…the body which I felt like the pandemic pushed to the absolute edge, in someways to a place I thought I couldn’t return from.
A year ago I could barely walk to my local post office without having severe lower back pain, anxiety attacks and shortness of breath.
This was in some ways as a result of the weight gain that not running or crossfitting, and eating (and drinking) differently, had on my body, but it was more than that…it was fear.
Fear manifested throughout my body.
When I headed off to Greece in September last year I knew things had to change, I knew I needed time and space to just think about me…I mean when do we as women EVER do that?
8 weeks of sea swimming, eating glorious Meditteranean food, and writing everyday helped for sure. But self care and new habits are always easier away from home, the real work had to begin when I returned to my life in London.
I have spent my life in a plus size body, a big body, an overweight body.
A body which I have often felt trapped in.
My pursuit of smallness in my 20s and 30s was often driven by wanting to be more desirable to the men I liked, or to feel more confident with the girls I hung around with. It was about looking good (or not awful) in photos, and being able to find clothes that fit. It was about fitting in, being more acceptable to the world.
The Too Fat to Run work made me see what bullshit that was, and I became an ardent crusader for body acceptance.
After having my daughter 8 years ago things changed again. I stopped chasing smallness, and I realised that body acceptance wasn’t enough either, and instead I began focussing on health, wealth and happiness, being a good role model for my beautiful daughter who would learn so much about her own body by watching her mum deal with hers…I know, I learned a heap from my mum, as she did hers.
These days I am not so fussed about how I look, and I am not attached to being any particular size. But the thing I do want is freedom in my body. I want to confidently partake in activities and daily tasks with the energy and flexibility that means I do them with ease.
I want to feel alive, I want to feel in control, I want to feel free, I want to feel strong and capable, and ready for anything the world may throw at us.
A year ago I felt like I was 75, I was broken…today I feel like I’m 21 again…and FYI I am indeed 43….so I am taking that as a win.
On Sunday I will be running my most honest workshop ever on the concept of Body Freedom. I will be sharing 10 core principles that have helped me reconnect with the body that houses me…without dieting or excessive exercise.
I will be talking about weight loss, I will be talking about therapy, I will be talking about food, I will be talking sex (ooooh Mrs lol)…and more than just talking I will be supporting you to create your own action plan for reconnecting to your body in a way that feels good to you.
The workshop is taking place inside my VIP membership The Wobbly Bits Club which costs just £20 per month.
Come for just the workshop, or stay for a while and get involved in the ongoing work of reconnecting to yourself in a safe non-judgemental space.
You can cancel your membership at any point, no need to explain your reasons.
When you register you will receive
- A Health, Wealth & Happiness MOT Assessment
- My Stop Playing Small self-study programme
- Access to our brilliant closed Facebook community
Plus we have guest experts each month on all manner of topics, this month we have a size-inclusive nutritionist coming to share her thoughts on the topic of Body Freedom.
I have spent the last decade talking about plus-size fitness, health and wellbeing. I have supported thousands of women to take up and stay in the sport of running. I have done a Tedx on the fear of judgement that so many of us women face…but the insight I have gained in the last 12 months as I explore what body freedom looks like has been truly transformational and I want to share that with you.
It’s easy to think that we have left it too late, we have tried everything, we can’t change, it’s too hard, what’s the point…the point is to allow yourself to feel better.
Feeling good is a superpower…one that sometimes we don’t allow ourselves to enjoy.
It is worth pursuing.
No matter how shit, or wobbly you feel right now.
To find out more about The Wobbly Bits Club click here The Body Freedom interactive workshop is on Sunday at 6pm, and the recording will be available that evening if you can’t make it live.
The post Are you craving body freedom? appeared first on The Fat Girls’ Guide To Running.